5 February, 2015
In less than a month, I will be celebrating my 27th birthday.
For some reasons I remember very well the 27th birthday of a friend of mine, 4 or 5 years ago. This birthday has been haunting me the past weeks. It was the time I was studying in Prague (if you want to learn more about it click here but the articles are all in French). My friend gathered his closest friends in a Czech brewery in the old town. It was always quite a touristic place, but we still liked to go there for beers from time to time. The important thing was to avoid taking the pretzels in the middle of each table, who gave you the impression they were for free, but turn out to be quite pricy (impossible to read the bottom of the menu after a few beers!).
It is funny, because I precisely remember this birthday party, I even remember that I was eating chicken wings. We were eating and drinking, and he decided to say a little speech to thank us for joining. He closed his speech saying “I am 27 years old, feel comfortable about my age and with my achievements. I would never want to go back, I just want to enjoy my 27.”
After the speech I asked myself: “will I be able to say the same at my next birthdays? How about when I turn 27?”
This speech and questions have been following me ever since. It is usually the first thing I think about on the day of my birthday: do I feel happy about my life as it is right now? Am I ready to welcome this new year, new age?
Now that I am getting closer to my 27th, this speech haunts me even more. Will I be able to say the same thing (sorry for spoiling my birthday speech for the once who will be there)? What can I still change in my life to be able to be happy about turning 27 and not regret the past? I am almost scared of not beeing mentaly ready to celebrate my birthday.
This fear irritates me. I want to feel good so badly, that I keep pressuring myself. By pressuring myself I feel stressed, so I am in fact NOT feeling so well at the end. I hear the clock ticking and see the day pass by. Though it would actually be waaay better, to just relax, let life happen and be happy about this new oportunity to party with people I like.